We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
