either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
