Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
