so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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