Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
i need some magic done to my vagina
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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