...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
