Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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