He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
