In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
