If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
