She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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