it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
i think my cat just said my name.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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