Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
