I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
