hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
