they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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