I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize