So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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