But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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