I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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