so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
