PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
