I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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