Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
