You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
be right there i have to get my cape
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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