I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize