32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
