Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Please don't give away my fajitas
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
