Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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