My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
