Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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