hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
