Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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