I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
