make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Alive.
So much puke
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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