The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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