what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
