I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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