I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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