just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize