She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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