It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
