There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
