Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
