Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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