Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
