is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
