you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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