me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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