Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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