i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
