xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
