just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
