playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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