It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
