he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
The uberlube is also flammable
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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