I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Randomize
