i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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