I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
